For as long as I can remember, I have known about and dreamed about Namibia.

My introduction to this strange and vast country came in the form of a National Geographic picture featuring the Deadvlei trees inside of Namibia’s Namib-Naukluft Park.

Dead trees stood at attention under a clear blue sky littered with stars and red sand dunes so big they glow in the desert darkness. I told myself I would go there one day. Even in college, when my study abroad plans to go to Germany fell through I looked for a Namibian program before settling on Istanbul.

So it was fitting that my first truly solo journey, after leaving Christian in Ghana and the comfort of my college friends in Cape Town was to travel to Namibia and spend a comfortable amount of time in Sossusvlei where I could spend my days climbing sand dunes and wiping the deliriously joyful tears from my eyes as I set sight on the Deadvlei trees.

I booked a solo 3-day camping trip with Wild Dog Safaris and set out to Windhoek on November 5th.

My first few hours in Windhoek were hectic as I was greeted at the airport by a long customs and even longer ATM line. After more than an hour I finally got my stamp and cash and headed to the Hilton Windhoek where I would spend the next few days before getting picked up for the camping tour.

When I finally made it to the hotel I was exhausted. I was running on two hours of sleep (I had gone to a party the night before my flight with my college friends) and I could not sleep on the plane. I flew Airlink and the plane was incredibly small (less than 40 people) and hit a decent amount of turbulence.

Nevertheless, I had preemptively booked a city tour anticipating massive boredom on my first day so less than an hour after checking and with a quick shower and a slice of chocolate cake I went off with Adolf from Austria (I know) who was to take me around the city on a Sunday.

Pro-Tip- Windhoek is basically dead on Sunday. There were almost no people and I wondered if anyone actually lived there — I mean — why are all the North Korean-built buildings standing empty? Granted, Namibia is one of the least densely populated countries in Africa. Its size is larger than California and Texas combined and it has a  population of 2.1 million counted people. Perhaps they had all gone on holiday?

When I asked Adolf about this particularity, he griped about the city center and said it was always like this. The town itself is quite unremarkable and given my elevated level of sleepiness, I dozed off a few times when not exploring the old German church, or the large yellow Parliament building, or driving through the townships at the outskirts of the city. I decided hotel food for me was acceptable for the night. Even the Shoprite grocery store had closed and we had to drive to Klein Windhoek, the town over, to purchase water.

On Monday, the city came alive again and my ride to the N/a’an ku sê Wildlife Sanctuary was 15 minutes late due to “traffic.” However, after a month and a half in West and South Africa – time had become relative to me.

I had booked a day trip which consisted of a behind the scenes tour with Marlice van Vuuren, the co founder of the N/a’an ku sê Wildlife foundation and a walk with cheetahs. More on that here as it deserves it’s own post.

Finally the day came and I was up early, waiting for my 8:00 pick up (which came at 8:36am) and off we went. Originally I got in a car with just 4 others and I thought to myself “Wow, I am super lucky.” Then we made a stop off at the office and in piled a good 10 others, so 15 of us in all.

Ok, so it wasn’t going to be a semi-solo trek into the desert Eat, Love, Pray style, but at least I would see some beautiful things.

But as we drove away from the town my world started to expand like never before.

Endless emptiness. Enough to make a car full of 15 eager adults feel like a carriage ride on top of an ant. It struck me that even with company I could truly experience the vastness of this strange and other worldly place.

Our first night concluded with us setting up camp at Sossusvlei Desert Camp and hiking to the top of a sand dune to watch the sun set over the red sea of sand. I had already made 4 friends by the evening of the first day and we banded together, encouraging each other not to give up as perspiration dripped down our faces and we challenged ourselves to go farther and farther towards the top of the dune.

But the question is what top? Our guide had informed us that we should just sit at our first best view, because if we kept going “There would always be sand.” We didn’t believe him. In our structured world there was always a beginning and an end.

An hour into walking as the sun was sneaking behind an unknown end we accepted our guides’ advice. These sand dunes had no end, they were endless, and in itself, a paradox of normal thought. I settled into my little corner of the world and watched the sun illuminate the sky with endless color and I just breathed. The moment required silence and while we had never agreed on it; we all understood it.

The next morning we woke before sunrise and stumbled in our tents to dress as we all rushed to get ready to hike Dune 45 before sunrise. “To beat the rush” our guide told us. I giggled a bit wondering how the there could be a traffic jam. Then the truck got stuck in sand. Our guide ordered us out and we all pushed this massive truck out of the sand. I looked toward the exit and wondered “How in the hell did we end up behind 100 cars?”

I took my phone out to text my husband and remembered. No service. No wifi. All my moments were my own.

After the traffic jam we made it to Dune 45 and piled out of the car and all proceeded to walk in formation up this massive sand dune. Other dunes are protected in the the Namib Nauklauft National Park so that means only two dunes are available for hiking up.

It created quite the traffic jam but at same point, even surrounded by lots of people, you can’t but feel so small.

After our hike to the top of Dune 45 the sun was high in the sky. We ran down the dune’s like kindergarteners, laughing, and our balance greatly decreased. Falling as sand rushed to cover every part of us. After breakfast we continued on. This time walking over 5km to the site of my dreams – the Deadvlei trees.

Our guide gave us the choice. To take a short cut to the trees or walk another dune.

I chose to walk with 4 others. This was the moment I had been dreaming off since I stumbled upon that article in the National geographic. I wanted to see it from every angle. Above, next to, behind. So we set off after a 5km desert trek and walked up another sand dune. Ants on a hill as the majority of tourist took an easier way.

I walked at my own pace, stopping for water and enjoying the feeling of sweat running down my forehead which quickly dried in the desert heat. I made it to the top. Everyone looked like twigs below and the dunes were so steep I was momentarily afraid I would fall. The wind even felt weak compared to the mountains of sand. It hit it with force and quickly dismantled to drawing swirls on the sand’s surface. I was finally here, above it all. Just watching as my comrades ran one by one down the monster of a hill. I waited. I wanted to be alone.

The feeling was eery and exhilarating. Finally I let myself go and I ran at full speed down the sand, tripping once or twice and falling on my knees, sands filling in the wrinkles. I laughed hysterically. This was freedom.

It’s hard to explain – to really capture – what Namibia is. It’s a magical place that is unlike any other. As I walked through the Deadvlei trees with the desert sun bearing down on me – I remember how vulnerable I am in this world. How lucky I am to be here right now – in the midst of all this beauty.

Just ahhhhhh and sighhhhhh

We all left the trees behind slowly. I walked away on my own when it was clear I was the only one left from the group.

Only 4 of us kept walking up the dune and we discovered the pleasure of quiet.

On top of Dune 45, joined by friends and all the other tourist who woke up before sunrise to climb this massive mountain of sand.

Deadvlei trees – My dream, To meet them.

More dead trees. The place was crowded but you could still feel alone.

The bottom of Dune 45

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