I was panicked. I had put off deciding what to do outside of going to South Africa and Namibia once Christian left for the United States. I had from October 30^th to November 17^th to make my way from Accra to Johannesburg and see all I could see.

The pressure of endless opportunities and the fear of my first solo journey in almost five years had stopped me in my place.

It was already September, and I still had a big blank canvass to paint into my plans while I would be in South Africa. I knew I wanted to go to Namibia, but I also knew there was so much more to see.

I considered the facts:

• I would be alone. I am a 30-something-year-old married woman. I figured that meant traveling solo would be a far cry from 20-year-old carefree me who could find love and adventure in unexpected places.
• I only had a limited amount of time.
• I wanted any plan to include Namibia, but I was afraid to go trekking through a desert on my own.
• I wanted to see as many countries as possible and learn a skill or two.

So, what to do when you have some time, no plan, and a bit of apprehension?

Start with a map!

I mapped out my potential journey.

I got out Google Maps and started searching for places with direct flights from point A to point B. I figured if I spent a week in Cape Town I could fly directly to Windhoek and spend five days there. If I was going to Namibia, it seemed only reasonable to go to Botswana. From Botswana, Zimbabwe was also too close to ignore and just a potential short drive away if I planned my Botswana trip right. Then from Zimbabwe, all flights outside of the country felt like they landed first in Johannesburg. Furthermore, the flights were not too expensive.

I debated between the Chobe National Park and the Okavango Delta in Botswana. One adventure required flying into Kasane and the other into Maun. I looked for activities in both cities and found a slightly expensive photography tour in Kasane with Pangolin. Kasane seemed cheaper than the Okavango Delta, and it would save me money on a flight to Zimbabwe. It was also within a short drive to Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.

Since I had never been on a solo safari, I figured one with a defined focus could be a better bet. I could avoid the honeymooners and families and possibly meet some solo travelers looking to advance their craft.

So, I contacted Pangolin Photo Safaris through email, and they were able to fit me in for one of their weekend tours. I added an extra two and a half days for good measure.

Then since my Botswana trip was taken care of, I booked my ticket to Windhoek, then booked my safari through Wild Dogs safari. Later, I booked a hotel in Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe and figured I’d wing it once I got there. The hotel could arrange for transportation from the border of Zimbabwe to the hotel, so I just had to arrange for transportation to the border of Botswana with Pangolin.

So, there we have it. That’s how I ended up on a photo safari in Kasane with Pangolin Photo Safaris.

But, what I didn’t know at the time was just how transformative that solo trip would be.

But first, let’s get to the details of Botswana.

I spent my last night in Windhoek at the Hilton rooftop sitting by myself drinking wine and eating French fries for dinner. Couples danced in front of me on the dance floor and made eyes at each other. I sighed and made small talk with the bartender as the sunset burst into an array of purple, red, and orange. I was entirely tranquil from returning from my short tour in the Namibian desert. I wondered what was ahead of me. I figured if it was anything like Namibia, I was in for a treat.

Then ten hours later I was at the airport in Kasane looking for a person with a sign that had my name.

I found her, Janine.

Janine is a tall and slender woman. She has long blond hair, an affectionate smile, and a knack for puns and silly banter. She’s a German expat living who’s lived in Botswana with her South African boyfriend for years. They both run the photography tour company in Botswana. She’s also an expert at photographing Chobe’s wildlife.

She greeted me with a wave. I approached her, and she told me to follow. We exchanged pleasantries as we walked to the open air jeep she would use to drive me to the Cresta Mowana Lodge where I had chosen to stay. My decision was primarily based on the fact that only one TripAdvisor review mentioned spiders and that was for the balcony (it was false advertising – more on that later). Janine helped me check in and then told me to meet her downstairs by 3:00 pm.

When she left me, I was taken to my room. Room 212.

It was literally the farthest room from everything.

I had to walk through what felt like rows of overhead bush just to get to my hotel room. If you’ve ever taken a safari, then you know that you need to get up early, like around 5 am. But that also means that the minute you leave your room you will be greeted by fresh spider webs made overnight. I was mortified. I’m alone, in the small town of Kasane, practically away from everything, and I *may* have to brave spiders in the morning.

I searched the room for spider webs and was pleased to find none. I did wrap my bed in the mosquito net and tucked it into the spread. Then I sat down and the reality of the moment hit me. I was alone, really alone, said for my time that would come on safari. During my downtime, I would have to find something to do. I would have to eat alone.

I looked for a room service menu. I found a massage menu. Then I called the front desk:

The receptionist answered, “Hello ma’am, may I help you?”

“Yes, hi, I was wondering if you guys have room service. I am quite hungry?” I asked.

She responded “No ma’am, we don’t. Lunch is from 12:00 pm to 3:00 pm in the outdoor restaurant downstairs. Your dinner and breakfast are included in your stay, and you may take them downstairs in the main restaurant.”

Darn, I thought. I’d have to go outside. Somehow after so many meals alone a meal in a safari lodge seemed particularly lonely. I had a granola bar from the airplane, so I opted to have that for lunch and turn on the television to watch music videos and what seemed like a religious drama until 3:00 pm came around.

I met Janine promptly at 3:00 pm downstairs.

She asked me about my camera. She wanted to know if I had the right equipment for the photography class.

I showed her my Canon T6i Rebel with my 75mm to 300mm lens.

“You don’t have another camera?” she started and then continued to trail off, “I don’t think this is going to work for the class. It can fit your camera, but your camera does not have the range of options to give you the most out of the class. You will be using our camera.”

She handed me the Canon 80D with a 600mm lens.

It was equivalent to her telling me I needed to upgrade my life.

Afterward, we walked to the boat which stood humming at the dock. There on the boat were three other people who were on tour.  A South African couple on their third tour with Pangolin Photo Safaris and a man from Sweden who was also traveling solo. All of whom had better equipment than me. All of whom, after I inquired, told me they were staying at different hotels. So, dining alone for the next few days it was. The captain and spotter Bennard was also on the boat. I introduced myself to him, and he smiled and offered me a diet coke.

Then Janine went over what to expect, safety instructions (i.e., Don’t fall into crocodile-infested waters), and our goals for each excursion.

Our tour began with Janine urging us only to use our exposure on the manual setting to capture the intensity of the colors of the birds and crocodiles to contrast Chobe’s natural background of blue water, gray skies, and green pastures.

She encouraged us to get down to the level of our subject and look it in the eye. My first assignment was to go to the edge of the boat, bend down and get my camera right to eye level with a huge crocodile. After completing the exercise, I later learned that crocodiles could jump into the air and onto boats and run up to 12 miles an hour while on the ground.

However, despite risking my life, I got this haunting shot below to remind me of the power and beauty of this prehistoric beast.

As the time turned to dusk, we made our way back to the dock just as it began to rain. Of course I, like a good safari participant, had worn beige pants that were now soaking wet and see through.  I looked as if I had fallen into the water.  Janine rushed me back to the dock of the hotel before the sun completely set and said her goodbye before taking off to drop the others off at their hotels by car. Before she left me I asked her to do a courtesy check and see if my underwear could be seen through my pants.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about.” She responded and then took off. Pro-tip. No pink undies with beige in the rain.

Nevertheless, after hours on the river, I was hungry. I felt too drained to go back to my room and change, so I decided to endure the possible embarrassment.

I burst into the restaurant as soon as I found the door and realized I was the first person there.

A man immediately greeted me. “Table for how many ma’am?” he asked while eyeing my soaked almost see-through beige pants. “Just one” I responded.

He paused for a second. “How many?” he asked again.

“Just me,” I responded.

“No one is joining you?” he asked.

“Nope. I am here all by myself.” I proudly said with a tinge of embarrassment.

He nodded knowingly and then smiled. “Ok. Don’t worry miss. I will take good care of you.” And he found a far corner for solo people to sit me – conveniently next to the dessert table. I asked for a glass of wine. He winked at me and said, “right away.”

I started to feel better. I initially thought there could be nothing more lonely then dining alone in a huge restaurant by yourself. But his wink and the glass of wine started to loosen me up. About ten minutes later I was still sipping on my wine, and I had not gotten any food yet.

Another male waiter who had not seated me came by to check on me:

“Is anyone joining you?” He asked.

Really? I thought. “No, it’s just me,” I said.

The waiter paused awhile. There was sadness in his eyes for he pitied the completely soaked 30-something woman drinking wine by herself having an early dinner. I felt the need to reassure him. “I’m very content but could I get another glass of wine?” I said.

Then he responded “Very well. If you need anything else, let me know. Oh,  and I recommend the cake and the Asian stir fry tonight. It’s quite good.” Then he left to fetch my wine.

I enjoyed my dinner. I drank two glasses of wine and felt the tipsy grapefruit warm my soul. I smiled with each bite of stir-fry. That itself was a triumph. Of course, I was missing Christian, but I was also having some fun by myself. I was enjoying sitting with just my phone, some wine, and people watching the restaurant begin to fill with people. Mostly couples wandering in noticing me by myself and then not noting me again.

After dinner, I thanked the waiter with a tip, and then  I took my umbrella and walked to my room, swinging my umbrella in front of me from side-to-side hoping to knock any spider away from my path. I feel asleep to music videos.

For the next few days, I woke up early, was the first for breakfast, spent hours photographing birds, laughing with the other guests and guides, and generally enjoying the tremendously useful instruction of Janine. With photo safaris, you can slow down. Everything is about the moment; everything is about getting the right shot. Everything is about that one animal that you are just watching, waiting for it to move in just the right way.

For example, it’s just you and that bird as you wait for it to take flight from where it’s perched on the top of a branch. You are aware of the way the wind is blowing because that gives you a clue to which direction the bird will fly, at least, according to Janine. You are playing with your settings to get a perfect blur.

Or it’s just you and that hippo as you wait for it to open its huge mouth so you can get the water rolling down its teeth.

My mornings and afternoons within Chobe National Park turned me into a bird lover. With each spotting of a bird, each detail about the bird, each minute I would watch on through my lens, my heart began to fill with wonder and admiration.

I saw Cormorant Reeds, Drongo Fork-tailed, Ibises, Kingfishers, Rollers, Marabou Storks and many more. Birds became the flowers of the sky in Chobe, and I felt immensely grateful to see them take flight.

White-Fronted Bee-Eater. CC: Jasmine Nears

Helmeted Guineafowl. CC: Jasmine Nears

Janine challenged us to catch a bird in flight. She wanted its eyes to be in focus, some blur on its wing, essentially a frozen picture that represents motion. She discussed how beautiful it was to freeze the movement of a bird.

I took picture after picture and endured failure after failure, each building upon each other. I was starting to grow a bit desperate to catch any bird in flight, but it was far from easy. You needed to focus on its eye and at the right moment. You needed to pay attention to the wind to determine which direction the bird would fly. You required the patience of Job to wait for that perfect moment. I started gaining new respect for nature photographers. But my failures never left me feeling the urge to quit.

On my third to last night eating dinner and drinking wine alone, the waiters decided I needed a friend. As I was sitting down to order my second glass of wine to wash down the rest of my plate, a waiter came by and told a lady around the age of my mother that she could sit with me. I wanted to protest, but as soon as she sat down, she said “Thank goodness you are here. I hate eating alone.”

My protest left me. “I’m Jasmine,” I said, extending my hand with a smile. “I’m Ruth” she responded with a smile. Then she said, “Please don’t leave me.”

I looked down at me almost done plate and responded “Don’t worry. I’ll stay until you are finished.”

Over the course of the meal, Ruth became Mama Ruth. She told me of her work on reproductive health in the capital city of Gaborone. She helped women of child-rearing age understand how to a family plan. Mama Ruth spoke of how her faith in God guided her work and life. But most of all she spoke of her daughter who is a doctor living in Pretoria, South Africa. Her daughter is like me, her mother’s only child. Her daughter is the light of her life, and with each mention of her daughter, Mam Ruth beamed.  She not only seemed like a fantastic woman on a mission but she was endearing. I instantly felt at home with Mama Ruth.

By the end of the meal, we had exchanged contact information, and she made me promise to meet her daughter when I went to Johannesburg. It was a promise I kept.

It is moments like these that set solo travel apart for me. The complete feeling of community with each person you meet as you challenge yourself to be more patient with yourself and with the world around you. I had reluctantly opened up to Kasane, and the Kasane gave me Mama Ruth. Mama Ruth became a highlight for me in Kasane along with my increased photography skills.

My last morning in Kasane we took a safari ride. We were all still on the high of last night’s sighting: a jackal eating a baby impala. This morning we were looking to capture a bird in flight accurately. Only one of us had got remotely close. We saw eagles, vultures, and more. All birds presented me with an opportunity to catch them in flight, and again I failed. It was half an inch off here or a centimeter of there.

Then of course, right when you are ready to give up. A European roller comes along and takes your breath away. And you get as close as you have ever been to do it right. And that’s when you realize.

You’ve done well.

CC: Jasmine Nears

Know Before You Go

1. Kasane is a unique city. It’s an hour from Zambia, an hour from Zimbabwe, and right next to Namibia. You can stand in four countries at once if you are ambitious.
2. Chobe National Park is one of the most fantastic parks in Southern Africa. It is teeming with wildlife, and it has one of the most significant populations of elephants in Southern Africa. Because it’s a National Park no off-roading is allowed for the safety of the animals and you. It’s best to take some structured tour into the park since it is big and can be overwhelming. But choose right, not all journeys in the Chobe are equal. Of course, if you are looking to take some of the best photos of your life, book a trip with Pangolin.
3. Visa requirements vary, but as of March 2018, U.S and German citizens do not need a tourist visa to visit Botswana. It’s important always to check before you fly.
4. There’s only one resort in the park, and the rest of the hotels and resorts are outside of the park. But the park is not gated off in the community so the park can often come to you. It’s not uncommon to see elephants walking down the roads. But that also means one must exercise extreme caution while walking around at night. Kasane is a small city, with only one bar street, so there’s not much to do outside of safaris.
5. I woke up with baby spiders every morning on the side of my bed. None of them bit me, but that means that TripAdvisor lied to me. No worries, I corrected that in my review. But honestly, the lodge is not terrible, and the food is delicious. So, if you can overlook the possibility of spiders, I’d recommend a stay there.
6. LAST BUT NOT LEAST…Here’s an Angry Baby Hippo

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