Picture from article: Anthony Bourdain quotes to remember the legendary chef.

It was unbelievable reading the headlines this morning in Reuters. I wanted it to be anything else but real. Yet, nestled between the headlines of Singaporeans making money off of the Trump/Kim meeting was the sad headline:

Celebrity chef, TV host Bourdain dies of suicide at 61

He was the last person I would imagine. I know we are not supposed to say that because every tragedy like this always feel unexpected, even with the signs. But for the casual observer it almost always feels that way. Because depression doesn’t have a face. Alcoholism doesn’t have a face. Suicide can affect anyone with any mental status.

While the world tries to piece together the deaths by suicide of two celebrities who seemed to have it all – Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain – I want to remember the things I learned from him and how he inspired me.

I remember weekends and week nights watching No Reservations and Parts Unknown and dreaming of traveling the world and connecting with people like Bourdain seemed to masterfully do.

Anthony Bourdain moved me to action when he said “If I am an advocate for anything, it is to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. Walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food. It’s a plus for everybody.”

As a young adult that quote, his shows, his enjoyment of food, culture, and just basic connections with people all over the world, was and is a huge reason for why I travel today.

As a teenager I wanted to be him. I wanted to be a no-strings attached, no reservations, traveler who chain smoked, drank what they wanted, ate what they wanted, and always found a way to make a friend. His imagine is as human as it is unattainable and he inspired so many travelers, chefs, artists, and foodies along the way.

His lost is truly felt around the travel community. He humanized people in way that should be normal but because of our society felt remarkable. He seemed kind, always listening, always understanding, brutally honest, funny and adventurous. The basics for what makes an exceptional human. He brought a raw and mostly unedited view of the world to everyone’s living room and showed everyone how normal everyday life is for us all- no matter where we lay our head.

Of course you never know what is going on in people’s private life and in retrospective he needed help that he did not get.

I would urge people who are feeling suicidal to reach to out to the numerous resources I have quote below. I also urge people to check on their friends who seem to have it all and their friends who don’t. Reach out to see how they are doing today and everyday.

Picture from article: Anthony Bourdain quotes to remember the legendary chef.

When I think about the lessons I learned from watching his shows, listening to his interviews, and following him for years, I think of the 3 following lessons below:

1. Never Turn Down a Meal

He taught us that food was not simply a means to an end but a connector. Food is an experience to be enjoyed to the fullest. While somehow he maintained a healthy weight he showed us that we must look at food as an exciting adventure. Whether it was spending days unashamed eating Popeyes Mac and Cheese in Louisiana or eating pho on plastic chairs with President Obama. Food is what tells the story of who we are and it’s the great connector for people all over the world. No matter where I am in the world I always accept a meal or cup of tea with a stranger or friend.

2. Always be open to change

He seemed always willing to admit he was wrong and was open to new ideas and new places. At first, I thought that was just a byproduct of travel but now that I’ve traveled around the world and met so many people  I realize it’ not the travel that changes you but it’s how you received it. People can leave their home and travel the world and come back just as closed minded. Bourdain once said during a 2014 interview with Men’s Journal:

“I have an operating principle that I am perfectly willing, if not eager, to believe that I’m completely wrong about everything. I have a tattoo on my arm, that says, in ancient Greek, “I am certain of nothing.” I think that’s a good operating principle. I love showing up to a place thinking it’s going to be one way and having all sorts of stupid preconceptions or prejudices, and then in even a painful and embarrassing way, being proved wrong. I like that. If you can get a little smarter about the world every day, it’s a win.”

That’s a principle I try and live by. I am certain of nothing and I am open to being wrong.

3. Step outside your comfort zone

When traveling I should not stay at the resorts and be escorted around. I need to seek out new experiences by simply stepping outside of my hotel, hostel, or Airbnb and getting lost in the moment of the place I am visiting. As I get older it becames harder and harder to step outside of my comfort zone and see everything I can. Sometimes it is easier to just go to a resort and stay there. But the truth is that’s not travel to me. It’s not the way I always dreamed of seeing the world and it is not the way to create unique stories. When i started feeling like throwing in the towel and just taking the easy way out Bourdain’s quote would run through my mind:

“Do we really want to travel in hermetically sealed popemobiles through the rural provinces of France, Mexico and the Far East, eating only in Hard Rock Cafes and McDonalds? Or do we want to travel without fear, tearing into the local stew, the humble taqueria’s mystery meat, the sincerely offered gift of a lightly grilled fish head? I know what I want. I want it all. I want to try everything once.”

I would think “No” and I would forge on because without adventure there’s not much else to see. When my husband wanted to sit at the beach all day I would go out to have my own morning adventures before returning.

Check out this video of one of his interviews and below are resources to share and take advantage of. You are not a burden. You are not alone. Reach out today to someone you care about and see how they are doing.

Below are resources for those seeking help and those looking for how to help someone in need:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Suicide prevention telephone hotline funded by the U.S. government. Provides free, 24-hour assistance. 1-800-273-TALK (8255). National Hopeline Network – Toll-free telephone number offering 24-hour suicide crisis support. 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433). (National Hopeline Network)

The Trevor Project – Crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. Includes a 24/7 hotline: 1-866-488-7386.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline – Free, confidential 24/7 helpline information service for substance abuse and mental health treatment referral. 1-800-662-HELP (4357). (SAHMSA)

Suicide crisis lines worldwide:
Crisis Centers in Canada – Locate suicide crisis centers in Canada by province. (Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention)

IASP – Find crisis centers and helplines around the world. (International Association for Suicide Prevention). International Suicide Hotlines – Find a helpline in different countries around the world. (Suicide.org)

Befrienders Worldwide – International suicide prevention organization connects people to crisis hotlines in their country. (Befrienders Worldwide)